Lesson 214 in A Course In Miracles

I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me.

I place the future in the Hands of God.

There is a path I walk where every step is one of destiny. Every avenue is landscaped by my own illusions; my own landmarks to remind me that I made this voyage. However, I have lost my purpose and so my journey is simply one to endulge in my senses. What a maddening effort to wade through my vanity. In the end, I only want to have found what's true. Truth is my final destination. As my illusions become more transparant against the canvass of truth I find many others still attached to the sentimentality of their own illusions. I feel the next step I take I may loose someone along the way, yet they are still with me. They are still fixated on their own vanity, nonetheless. Still, truth becomes of my experiences regardless of what brought me to the truth. So I find that another will have confronted truth as I have done so with them. In that one shared experience I have brought not only myself closer to my destination, I have also brought someone closer to their destination. Truth is the final destination for all of us who were born into this universe of mystery and awe. It seems to me, unavoidable to do so with a kinship. We are all here to seek the same truth, the absolute knowledge.

Lesson 213 in A Course In Miracles

I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me.

(193) All things are lessons God would have me learn.

Today the Lakers won the Championship. What an exhilirating moment. The sensation of victory overwhelms my senses and for that moment I surrender to my body. Who is it that is celebrating? Among thousands, perhaps millions of others, I am just another Laker fan. God created me a Laker fan, I did not. The merciless pride of being a Lakers fan has manifested itself, once again, to rioting on the streets. I am free from the madness, but I am convinced my exhuberance remains earthbound. But imagine, for a moment, Chick Hearn celebrating in Heaven. His legacy is some how celebrated along with this new chapter in Lakers history. I suppose the lore of this victory tells of my story as well. The season was long; months of hard work and remaining in the moment when so much is at stake, or even so little as it may have seemed, has intertwined with my own journey. At this pinacle of success we can only be in the moment, for it is this moment we sought. What are to become of all the other moments? or even the moments that could have been? They are moments lost to the gravity of what has been achieved and what was taught.

I've searched for peace from with out and from with in, still I have been lost with no direction for so long. If I were to journey through eternity having never found peace that would surely be a tragedy. Out of rage, grief, and altruism I've sought out peace and joy only to see it confined to the limits of time and space. Eternity and abundance were only ideals preached from those yearning for a heaven. I was not looking for a heaven, but it is the call no one can pass up. Could going from here to there be as easy as repenting and accepting Jesus Christ as lord and savior? Some how, sitting in church and Sunday school, I had a hunch it was not so easy. If it were, why was everyone dwelling on how to be a better Christian. As if the initial act of repenting wasn't enough. Or even worse, as if giving into a kiss or endulging in drugs would some how forfeit my ticket to Heaven. God certainly can't be so cruel. So, if He isn't this cruel, then why the mascarade? Why say Heaven is awaiting us while we live out this insane life? Seems illogical and, indeed, it is. Going back to the start, God created this universe with perfect knowledge and that suffices all doubt. He is the idea that all is known. If I were to sit back and do nothing for the rest of my life, I can argue that that was my destiny; my divine destiney. However, I can't escape the tug and pull my body has engaged in. Impossible is the feat of ignoring my mind that is aware it is there all the time. I must be involved some how; and so I am. One of two things must be going on now. Either I am the supreme being watching over my life as it unfolds or I must share in God's attributes. I say the latter is what's going on. To believe otherwise would be ignorance. Yet, many of us remain ignorant regardless of what we vocalize. We wear nice clothes thinking we had the power of choice in what to wear, all the while God was taking a back seat. We say we have faith in Him, still we ask Him for promotion. Where do we draw the line? Then there are those who seek God with a longing fit for an epic masterpiece of a love story, who find themselves, still, empty as God's love is boundless. I find now that peace and joy are of God, and being so, one must be aware of God in order to be aware of the peace and joy. Whatever we build up to make our lives appear the way we want will only last so long as we have the will to maintain it, and that is in no sense a will set on God. It is His peace and joy I seek and so it is mine.

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